To blog or not to blog; that is the question. To date, my internal dialogue has gone something like this:
Reasons Not to Blog
I have MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity), Lyme disease, and mold illness. It scares me to make commitments because I can't guarantee I'll be functional enough to keep them. Can I keep a blog going? Can I manage to post on a regular basis? When I'm not feeling well can I manage to be coherent? I'm sure healthy people have a hard time understanding the fear of not being up to typing out a few thoughts, but I know those readers with chronic illness understand.
Choosing to blog means choosing to divert time and energy currently spent on other things. What do I give up? I'm currently unable to sleep in my house (a surprisingly common MCS problem). If I blog, it means I have less time to work on making my home safe for me.
The internet is full of blogs and blog carcasses. Does it need another? Will anyone find it? Will anyone read it? Will it make a difference in any way?
Writing a blog that's primarily about MCS issues means forcing myself to think about things that can be very depressing. Is it worth doing that to myself on a regular basis? Do I want to mentally camp out in such a barren place?
Reasons to Give it a Shot
I think perhaps this is something God would like me to do, at least for now. When I was praying about it recently, God's words to Gideon in Judges 6 spoke to me. Gideon was complaining about the state of affairs and God gave him a commission to act, saying, "Go in the strength you have."
The Literary Powers That Be tell me that living a blog-free life isn't an option. I've written a book that I haven’t quite figured out what to do with, yet. Whether I come up with the money to self-publish, manage to find a traditional publisher, or decide to just put the book up online somewhere, I’ve gotten the message that a blog needs to be part of the package.
I have something to say. Much of what I have to say pertains to MCS and the Christian church. Becoming part of the MCS community opened my eyes to an unseen world of Christians who are completely shut out of most church buildings and gatherings because of the common products people choose to use. That isn't OK. Christians are also unknowingly making themselves sick with the same products, and that isn't OK, either. Worst of all, there are people who are spiritually hungry who can't search for truth inside most Christian churches because chemicals shut them out. That really isn't OK at all.
The fact that you're reading this answers the question of what I finally decided. I'm blogging. See Martha blog. I have no idea where this is going to go, but I really appreciate you coming along for the ride.